Sports almanac biff how to#
Sports almanac biff movie#
Sports almanac biff series#

The latest issue runs more than 1,538 pages and has somewhere between 500,000 and 750,000 words. The oldest running sporting almanac in the world is the Wisden Cricketers’ Almanack. Even in that hypothetical, the book still contains only about 160,000 or so words. Hell, let’s be generous and say the book was printed in Times New Roman 8-point font-it isn’t, because Biff reads it while driving a convertible at night I’ve tried to do that and it doesn’t work-and the designers got frugal with the spacing and pushed the margins as wide as possible. So let’s say there are 100,000 words in the book. The pages appear to be A4 size, which means they can each fit about 650 words. If you were to buy a replica of the book-which you can, because the internet-you’d see that it is 155 pages long. I cannot overstate how ridiculously flimsy this book is. And yet this Almanac is thin suspiciously thin:

Sports almanac biff movie#

The key to the plot of the movie is the Grays Sports Almanac, a book that, as Old Biff explains to Young Biff, contains “the results of every major sports event until the end of this century.” That is 50 years of sports, a lot of sports.

Sports almanac biff series#

And that brings me to my point: The Marvel Cinematic Universe is a 22-film series stretched out over 11 years that was created solely to draw attention to the fact that Back to the Future Part II is a load of bullshit.

This set the stage for Back to the Future Part II, in which franchise villain Biff Tannen-the man who sexually assaults Marty’s mom, but then somehow remains a family friend for decades-travels from 2015 to 1955 to give young Biff a copy of the Grays Sports Almanac, so he can become rich via sports betting. This was the highest-grossing film of 1985.Īt the end of Back to the Future, there was a teaser for the sequel-call this the pre-end-credits scene, before the MCU fully birthed the end-credits scene-in which Marty had to follow Doc back to the future, again, but actually for the first time. He also invented skateboarding and rock music.

Once he got to 1955, Marty kissed his mom (this was when it was OK for every significant franchise to include incestuous themes), turned his dad into a better writer, and almost caused the erasure of himself and his siblings. One night while Marty and Doc were hanging out in a mall parking lot (the ’80s!), Doc got shot by Libyan terrorists and Marty accidentally traveled back to 1955 while trying to drive away from them in an impractical car.

Sports almanac biff how to#

Fox-just before showing the NBA how to play the isolation game via Teen Wolf-played a character named Marty McFly, a teen who had befriended a much older inventor guy named Doc, who designed stupid automatic toasters. Why does Ant-Man say this? Oh, precious young person, let me tell you about this thing that happened in the 1980s. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. That’s right about when Ant-Man makes the following recommendation in regard to the Avengers’ quantum-travel time-heist: “We don’t talk to our prior selves or bet on sporting events.”īy submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Notice. But the film with the most significant impact on Ant-Man’s plan to save the universe is-well, I’ll let Tony Stark take it from here: “Are you really telling me your plan is based on Back to the Future?” Also mentioned are Terminator-which suggests the MCU exists in a world where Arnold Schwarzenegger became California’s governor, and no superheroes stepped in to stop it-and Hot Tub Time Machine, because it has a funny title. So while Captain Rhodes (Don Cheadle) and Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) lay out their plan to reclaim the Infinity Stones, they reference Timecop, Time After Time, A Wrinkle in Time, Somewhere in Time, Star Trek, Quantum Leap, and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Wells), Endgame attempts to explain time travel to viewing audiences through other time travel movies. And because none of us are smart enough to read books anymore (sorry, H.G.

Just enjoy the article.Īvengers: Endgame is, of course, a time-travel movie-because the only way to walk back Thanos’s whole “killing half the living things in the universe with one snap of the fingers” moment was to go back in time. But here’s the question you have to ask yourself: Did Future Us travel to the past and force us to publish this piece so that we’d have it for this week in 2020? Or did Past Us travel to the future and see how hard up for content we’d be in July of this very odd year? You know what, you’re right-we should stop asking questions. The Ringer is celebrating time travel this week, so we decided to resurface this piece, published soon after the 2019 release of Avengers: Endgame.